The Call of Kailash- The Road to Heaven.

Opening out into the wild 

Moving from Man to God

Crossing between two worlds

The feel of entering a new dimension 

The road never ended 

And the journey had begun

The vastness only grew

The air thinned

The mountains grew

The awe settled in humility.

The road to KAILASH.

 

Painted like in crystal blue laid down for miles

The Manipura from her navel

Glistening in a wide array of light 

Pristine, serene waters that touch the sky 

The waters that have the power to empty you

Reborn, you are if she permits you 

The touch of the divine, she is the Anahata

The feminine resting in pride and glory

At the foothills of her master

She is the reflection of heaven.

She is the mirror of the Divine 

The Magnificent MANASAROWAR.

The portal now is the Yamadwar

Crossing this, you leave behind all that you are

A sense of reverence envelopes you 

For the journey behind that brought you

First step into the paradise

This dimension overwhelms you

The sacredness locks you

The Shakti bleeds in you like a fuel

Endurance screaming, Resilience silencing 

The Parikrama is a path to shed every version of you

The expanding vastness of Kailash 

Melting you into gratitude

Kailash Yatra, a journey of this magnitude.

Oh! Blessed be the humans who birthed you

Blessed be the humans who brought you.

The collective energy of a soul 

The power of Man, God, and everything above

Blurring lines between real and rare

Drinking up this feeling  

I am asleep there

The one that destroyed me

The one that emptied me

Filling up the desire to walk on you again

The road to heaven I travelled

To witness this precious jewel

Kailash...The invisible ornament I now wear.

Dr Yashaswini B Raj.

Thank you.

The poem from my blog has now taken form as a visual on my Instagram page.

To experience it, click the link below — and feel the Yatra with me.

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DQRx35qj4Pa/?igsh=c2UxbXhyYXJ4Nncx

TREK, TOUR and A TALE

 Trek, Tour, and A Tale

             Walking back into an era, when the kings ruled when the nation was one, and I....started my year traveling back in time for a small frame into a space of rich heritage, as I walked the land of a living museum. 

When the mountain called again.

They say when BHAKTI enters any realm, you step into the Divine.               

 The Divine Annapurna Himalayan Mountain Range is seated strong in meditation and looks like a silver massif of rocks looking down at the Gandaki river and its flow, and blessing the ancient historic squares right up to the center. In return, the city looks up like a protector showing a great blend of cultures of both Hindu temples and Buddhist Stupas, blending into a faith that screams from every corner, from every lane, from every wall, and in every face. 

Undoubtedly, there are many Jewels of Wisdom standing in physical form on this planet, one such is the old temple city of Nepal, The BHAKTAPUR.

The UNESCO World Heritage Site                          

                   A rustic red old city built-in MANDALA-like pattern, the squares entering into a circle, a circle leading into another square with an intersection of small temple spaces-like energy centers and serpentine lanes leading to resting spaces in every corner where the old people rested and soaked the sun. A sense of wonder envelopes and my brain now dissects the geometry, traveling back centuries feeling the walls, and sensing my presence like in a past life. The sky weaves the beautiful Annapurna that peeps in between like a backdrop.

                                    

 

 

The aged men Dressed well in coats and Nepali topis, Looked at us tourists with awe and a gentle face, We passed on a smile, Bowing to the history soaked in their veins.  

 The corner Chai Points hosts a relaxed living with men engrossed in a game of chess with their chai, and my heart took a sigh as my mind ran back to the morning rat race back in Bangalore. The old city cafes, traveler's joints, and the small lanes adorned with beautiful Newari architecture decked with shops showcasing and selling some intricate fine artwork, trinkets, kukris, and all beautiful things, and here... the god masks into a human.       

The narrow lanes from afar looked like they would merge but you walk into these to enter a wide sunny open pottery square,  decorated with an array of lamps drying beautifully, and the potter's wheel is now the music. 

The sun now opens out to huge courtyards and small temples with Garuda welcoming every corner. The palaces with amazing Newari architecture mostly built with wood and bricks have typical crocheted lace-like patterns, that run evenly all around. Gigantic rock statues of Narasimha, Hanuman, lions, elephants, and man and woman walking with their child and dog all like Guardians. The Pagoda-style roofs are three and five-tiered scaling the sky.

Garuda

narrow city lanes

Solving the puzzle further we enter a main temple square the womb (as I want to call it),  the wonderful tall huge NYATAPOLA TEMPLE. This is a 5-storeyed temple towering about 30m above the square. The gigantic Bahubali-like structures on both sides of the steps lead to the ABODE OF SHAKTI-THE GODDESS SIDDHI LAKSHMI.                            

Nyatapola Temple

                     

The temple is closed and is open only for a season and not for all, and therefore no one knows what she is like, but the legend says she has an extremely fierce kali-like face with 9 heads and 18 hands. 

The five-tiered roof depicts the Pancha Bhutas or the five elements, EARTH, WATER, FIRE, AIR, ETHER.

and I see Yoga everywhere.

The goddess story depiction

 

As you walk into these spaces.... the walls, the pillars the fine art, the story it depicts, the hands that made it, the hands that felt it, the million feet that walked into these now smoothened floors,  the faith that brings people, the time that hold all this strong; and the fragrance of the bygone that still lingers on in the air,  and the Goddess eternal in her seat like a magnet.

As a Yogini, I saw the Yoga, the Tantra, and Yantra as man magic and the machine coming together in meditation.                           

       These big ancient historic structures are an invitation to walk the divine, and the wisdom it carries through centuries, the awakening man achieved in its creation.  

        

 I saw the Purusha and the Prakriti, the SHIVA- the Inert energy, in the glorious Annapurna and SHAKTI  sublime at this core. and the energy that continues.....

             

"Love You Zindagi"

              When the body felt fluid, the asanas flowed through my veins, and my sequences felt strong and the movement of grace from one asana to another, The Vinyasa  I create with ease and spontaneity, which flow with the union of body, mind, and breath. The Body aligned in power and style, the Divine speaking volumes like a dance of your breath. You become numb to the noise outside, Now it is the music of your breath, the sound of silence, and people hardly matter. The body felt like a temple and the God in you showed up every time in bouts with every breath.

The energy felt easy and light and you flowwwww.....A YOGINI'S perspective on HEALTH.

                While I did appreciate the already great form and always will strive for better, the illness just came like an eagle gliding, slow, sharp, and sat on every part of my body. A normal Viral that blew out of proportion. Now I know it must have been the fatigue that acted up at the year-end. My body froze up and restricted my movements, and now I was struggling to get up and move. Sounds like a piece from a Bollywood movie, but no masala here, when life throws lemons at you, I did try to make lemonade. Now I started to relate my pains and restricted movement with my clients both young and Old, who also have restricted movement either because of age, weight, or other body conditions. I understood muscle and Bone physiology better, the mind and body coordination better, now with personal experience.

                Firstly the weak and tired body and now my mind trying to figure out the non-syncing movement. While my classes went on seamlessly with mostly instruction and with my little movement and I chanted Relax... at the end of every class, I failed the relaxation to myself. Although I took long Shavasanas and made time for small Meditative practices, that wasn't enough. Even after careful nutrition, a well-balanced diet, and enjoying every class the body takes a downward curve to decline, and now the mind is working with 10 tabs open at one time. the stress in the mind is just surfacing in the body. All the hurt from your every part be it the mental body or the emotional body should surface in the physical body to permanently leave. These words I often use in my class as the students are instructed to hold the posture, like; allow pain and trauma to surface and RELEASE AND LEAVE. But now, I know that even Gratitude Peace, and Joy are also stored, which is the greater force to hold the other with grace because becoming humble and small in this multiverse is the first emotion you feel when you are sick. A mortal reality.

                To this day, I am slowly getting back and my fluidity which I am proud of is slowly getting back too. Yoga is happening in both sickness and Health. And my faith in this form just grew in folds. This healing happens in silence, happens in the presence, and I know for sure with my year-end break around, things are circling back to normal soon, to a much stronger version. And I just know how much the other Yoga teachers confide in this. We work class after class, session after session for the love of it, and for the students who show immense dedication, and this I know is with many other professions too. This pressure is quite normal for people obsessed with what they do, that the mind and the body only speak YOGA. And why not?. 

To the passionate and obsessed, keep going, Do not stop. Life is too short to not be obsessively in love with any form running in you. Give all of yourself and burn in it. There is light on the other side.

Thank You.

Dr. Yashaswini B Raj

LALITHA, THE YOGINI

A Yogic Exploration of the sacred text Lalitha Sahasranama

And she says, one can worship her, only if she wishes you to do so!

Well! I believe she has blessed me that I am itching to write about her. When I took this plunge to write about Lalitha, it came from the interest when I randomly heard someone saying that it is all Yoga.

Like many others, I was one amongst many who heard it as a morning prayer mindlessly. It would take a lifetime to understand her enormity, and still, I take this small step to unleash the brilliance of one of the most popular and widely read texts  THE LALITHA  SAHASRANAMA.

Sahasranama means 1000 names, And you would be surprised to know that out of the 1000 names, the name Lalitha comes at the very end on the thousandth name. And you would also be surprised that not one name is repeated out of the 1000 names unlike the other Sahasranama, like the VISHNU sahasranama. And every name has a yogic connection.

LALITHA the Spontaneous, Lalitha the Playful, Lalitha the most Beautiful. One who is free, One with utmost clarity, The one who rose from the fire of Consciousness, One who is worshipped by 64 crore yoginis, Lalitha the Goddess of YOGIS.

Adorned with precious gems and jewels, sitting in Siddhasana with her one leg on a pot of rubies, her body emanates like the vermillion red smeared on a dawn sky and she rising like from the radiance of a thousand suns, shining bright, Lalitha, the manifestation of Shakti, Lalitha the energy form of Shiva,  this WOMAN, this GODDESS, the Universal Mother, this enchanting beauty, the Tripura Sundari, LALITHAMBIKA.

The Lalitha Sahasranama{LS} is a sacred text from the Brahmanda Purana of the 4th century, which appears in the chapter of discussion between Hayagriva and Sage Agastya.[Hayagriva is the incarnation of Lord Vishnu who has a head of a horse and is called the Storehouse of Knowledge. Sage Agastya is one of the sages of the yore and also is a star of the constellation]. At the request of Agastya, Hayagriva teaches him about the 1000 names of  Lalitha. The composition is believed to be done by the eight Vaag Devis, upon the command of the Goddess herself. Vaag/vak devis- Vasini, Kameshwari, Aruna, Vimala, Jayani, Modini, Sarveshwari, Kaulini. 

THE YOGA PHILOSOPHY  in Lalitha Sahasranama

-The Lalitha sahasranama explains the manifestation of the goddess, for the destruction of the demon called Bandasura. The success of Lalitha Devi is the Ajnana[Ignorance] removed by Jnana [Knowledge].

- It gives details about the construction of Sreepura, a beautiful city at the crest of Mount Meru in the form of SriChakra. The Yogic correlation with Cosmos, Tanmatras, Trigunas, Pancha Mahabhutas, chakras, and many more.

The Tripuravasini and its yogic importance

Describing the Goddess.

The LS starts with Dhyana verses by meditating upon her form and the qualities of the mother. 

Below is the description

•  The beauty of Goddess Lalitha in the first few verses describes her from head to toe.

The Kameshwari with long dark hair which smells of fragrant flowers, her eyelids the doorway to the house of the god of love, her eyes like the fish playing in the crystal clear waters, nose studs shining brighter than the stars, the sun, and the moon as her ear studs, who possess the body of a golden red color, her body parts shines and radiates beauty in the highest form. The text describes the voluptuous beauty with firm breasts, a thin waist with a three-fold stomach, feather-like fine hair rising from her navel, rounded thighs, knees that shined like precious gems, feet that resembled the back of a tortoise, and toes that looked like flames of the lamp, she was draped in red silk, with a red tilak, her skin flawless shining like the morning glory. She had a string of golden beads around her stomach which accentuated her form. She possessed the beauty of the heavens, she was the heaven herself. 

• The names then go on to extoll Devi in all her achievements, powers, and forms.

She has four hands

In her upper left hand, she holds a bow made of Sugarcane, which depicts the Mind. From the mind, it arises the desire to create.

In her upper right hand, she holds five flowers which are like the five arrows which depict the five sense organs - the 5 Tanmatras, hearing, touch, sight, taste, and smell.

These two upper left and right hands are to cut the desires in our hearts and bring us to her feet.

The weapon in her lower left hand is a noose, which depicts Attachment, to drag us back to her lap when we are misbehaving, or out of practice and discipline.

The weapon in her lower right hand is a Goad, which shows Anger by gently prodding us when we are distracted. 

Their union is Harmony or Samarasa

• The next few names of Lalitha talk about the union 

She sits on the Pancha Brahmas, the 5 BRAHMAS- Brahma, Vishnu, Rudra, Ishwara, and Sadashiva. She is described as the Panchabhuta swarupini. These are like the 5 legs to her throne, they are motionless without her The Shakti.

It also appears that the seat she sits directly on is the Shiva in a supine posture, which depicts Shiva as the passive consciousness and Lalitha the Shakthi as the active consciousness.

The SHIVA is the Atman, the subject, SHAKTHI is the Body and Mind, the object which is ever active to perform karmas. Together they form one. Together they are Atmarathi.

 Together they are LALITHAMBIKA.

Shivashakthi rupini lalithambika- She is both Shiva and Shakthi
Prakasha Vimarsha maha maya swarupini- She is both Prakasha and Vimarsha
Lalitha is Purusha, and Lalitha is Prakruthi.
Lalitha is what is a thought and the thought herself.
Lalitha is knowledge and also one that can be attained by knowledge.
Lalitha is everything that exists and everything beyond existence too.
Lalitha is Para Brahman. 
Lalitha is Universal consciousness.

                      She is both Maya and Mercy, she shows you pleasure like the Manmatha and also pokes you to instill discipline. The yogic correlation from the above -The embodiment of the powers of creation, protection, and destruction. She is the manifestation of Durga, Kali, Shakti, and Rajarajeshwari.

• THE SRI CHAKRA and Lalitha the Tripura Sundari 

Tripura Sundari means the transcendental beauty of the three cities. 

                          She is called Tripura because it is similar to the triangle (triangle) that symbolizes the yoni and forms her circle. She is also known as Tripura as her mantra has three clusters of letters. She is called Tripura because she is manifested in Brahma, Vishnu, and Shiva as the creator, preserver, and destroyer of the universe.

Here the 3 cities can be correlated with YOGA in many other ways.

The Tripura - 3 cities with-

1. Body, Mind, Spirit.
2. Trigunas-Sattva RajasTamas
3. Will(Iccha shakti), Knowledge(Jnana shakti), Action(Kriya shakti)
4. Atma(Individual Self), Antaratma(Inner Body), Paramatma(Supreme Self)
5. the Knower, the means of Knowledge, the object of Knowledge
6. Surya (Sun), Chandra (moon), Agni (fire)
7. Sristi(creation), Sthithi(preservation), Laya(Dissolution)
8. Subject(mata), Instrument(mana), Object(meya)
9. Waking(Jagrat), Dream(Swapna), Dreamless sleep(Susupti)
10. Past, Present, Future

The Srichakra - She resides in Sreemannagara(Sri chakra) on Mount Meru.

• Then the verses go to describe the SRINAGARA

The Meru is the three dimensions of the Sri Chakra. If we returned to the two dimensions of Sri Chakra, imagine that the Bindu in its center is the peak of a mountain. Then imagine that the mountain is built up in tiers, each tier being one of the circles of triangles or lotus petals, with the outermost square representing ground level. Now, imagine a vertical spine down the center of the mountain, then at each point that the spine and a tier intersect, there is a chakra. The peak represents Mount Meru, the abode of the Gods.

The Sri chakra embodies the three divisions of the cosmos, representing goddesses in three worlds.

• Sun, Atmosphere, and Earth mirror the individual by body, breath, and consciousness.
• It also represents the three parts of the body. Neck to Head, Neck to Navel, Navel and below
• The 5 triangles in the Srichakra represents the  Pancha Mahabhutas  (5 Elements)- Earth, Water, Fire, Air, Ether
• The Srichakra is also associated with the Chakras of the Human Body.  The Sri chakra matches with the 6 chakras in the body from the outside to the inside. The count of 50 chakras matches with the 50 of the petals of the chakra. 4 of Mooladhara, 6 of Swadhistana, 10 of Manipura, 12 of Anahata, 16 of Vishuddhi and 2 of Ajna which sums up to 50 chakras.
•  Sahasrara chakra.  A 1000-petalled lotus corresponds to the infinity of the innermost triangle.
• The text in many verses mentions the goddess residing in different chakras.
• The central dot is where the goddess resides and can be correlated with the Bindu or the nectar in Yogic terms. This represents the cosmic union of Shiva and Shakthi.
• The Srichakra represents the Union of the masculine and feminine divine.

Five downward pointing triangles representing Devi intersect with four upward pointing triangles representing Siva, forming 43 triangles including the central triangle. From the five Shakti triangles comes creation and from the four Shiva triangles comes dissolution. The union of five Shaktis and four Fires causes the chakra of creation to evolve. At the centre of the Bindu of the Shri Yantra is Kamakala, which has three bindus. One is red, one is white and one is mixed. The red Bindu is Kurukulla the Female form, the white Bindu is Varahi the Male form, and the mixed Bindu is the union of Shiva & Shakti – the individual as the potential Shri Chakra. 

(To know more about SriChakra, and to read the Sahasranama and its English translation, visit the website given in the link below.)

• YOGINI

The names of Lalitha from 475 to 534 discuss the seven chakras of kundalini and Sahasrara. Each chakra is presided over by a deity called a yogini (with seven in total). Lalita herself is described as being present in the form of the kundalini energy at the Muladhara chakra at the bottom of the spine. Since the kundalini energy has to transcend the other chakras to reach the Sahasrara chakra from the Muladhara chakra, worshipping the respective yoginis of each chakra is paramount.

What is, is pure Being; what shines, is pure Consciousness; what is dear, is Bliss.

So here is the Maha-Tripura Sundari who assumes all forms. You and I and all the world and all divinities and all besides are the Maha Tripura Sundari.
The path of the Goddess is quick and also Esoteric, and is also filled with danger since it involves de-constructing oneself and then arriving at a new synthesis. This divine shakti is gained by raising our consciousness chanting her names and turning inward into a state of bliss.

LALITHAMBIKA, the Yogini, the one who transcends the state of duality.

I  have tried to extract a very small percentage of the yogic depth from the text. Leave me comments if you liked reading it and also enlighten me if you have more points to add.

So next time you listen to Lalitha Sahasranama, you will know the sacred text in totality is YOGA. 

This time you will not just hear, but listen. 🙏

Thank you.

Dr. Yashaswini B Raj

Bibliography

The Story of Goddess Lalitha and Significance of Lalitha Sahasranamam - TemplePurohit - Your Spiritual Destination | Bhakti,

 Shraddha Aur Ashirwadhttps://srilalithatripurasundari.wordpress.com/lalita-sahasranama/impact-of-chanting-lalitha-sahasranama/sri-lalitha-tripura-sundari-a

Sri Lalitha Sahasranamam - 1000 Names of Lalitha Devi from Brahmanda Purana - TemplePurohit - Your Spiritual Destination | Bhakti, Shraddha Aur Ashirwad

Lalita Sahasranama - Wikipedia

 The Four MahaVakyas

               

               Prajnanam Brahma

               Ayam Atma Brahma

               Tat Tvam Asi

               Aham Brahmasmi

Who am I, Who is God, What is the nature of God, What is the nature of the soul. If you have ever questioned yourself about these kinds of questions. a little deep digging into yourself will unravel all your answers.

Our Ancestors have left us with a great lineage through the Upanishadic teachings, contained in the Vedanta and Jnana Yoga. These are the four great sayings or great statements in the form of MAHAVAKYAS.  Maha- Great; Vakya- Sentence

Upanishad means that which destroys Ignorance and gets us closer to God or the teacher. Upanishad is the mystery of the VEDAS.

MAHAVAKYAS

The Mahavakyas contain ageless wisdom and profound truth about Self and Existence.

They are relevant even today as they were 1000 years ago. The biggest example of truth does not change with time can be said through the Mahavakyas.

The Mahavakyas 

1. Prajnanam Brahma 

Derived from the Aitareya Upanishad of the Rig Veda.

Prajna - 'to know' / Consciousness 

Brahma -  The Absolute

          Consciousness is  the  Absolute or the Ultimate Reality

          Consciousness is Brahma or Consciousness is God

Brahman is that which is Absolute, fills all spaces, all-pervading, eternal and infinite. Brahman is present in each and every individual.

2. Ayam Atma Brahma

Derived from the Mandukya Upanishad of the Atharva Veda

Ayam- This

Atma- Soul

Brahma- The Absolute

           The soul is Absolute or the Ultimate Reality.

Here it keeps us connected to the larger reality and it reveals the non-duality between Atma and Brahma.

3. Tat Tvam Asi

Derived from the Chandogya Upanishad of the Sama Veda

Tat-That

Tvam- You

Asi- are

          You are that Ultimate Reality

That you are, that is what you are. You are that ultimate reality you are seeking, You are not separate from the timeless and Eternal Truth, You are the oneness, You are the Truth.

4. Aham Brahma Asmi

Derived from the BrihadAranyaka Upanishad of the Yajur Veda

Aham- I

Brahma- The Absolute

Asmi-am

           I am the Absolute, I am the Brahma

This is the final destination for all spiritual seekers, to know that I am the Absolute Reality.

Thank you

Dr. Yashaswini B Raj

                

VIPASSANA SUMMER 2022- DHAMMA PAPHULLA

 

There are 8 stages in the ASHTANGA YOGA. 

The 5 Bahiranga/External (YAMA, NIYAMA, ASANA, PRANAYAMA, PRATYAHARA) and the

 3 Antaranga/Internal Yoga (DHARANA, DHYANA, SAMADHI).

As a Yoga teacher, I tend to correlate every teaching first with YOGA. Therefore, I call VIPASSANA Knocking at the door of DHARANA (Concentration) to open the doors of DHYANA (Meditation). 

To be precise working straight on the ANTARANGA YOGA. 

Vipassana, Vi- Special; Passana- seeing. A SPECIAL SEEING.

To see things as they really are. An Insight into your own being. 

An Intense Meditation process starts with Noble Silence. ARYA MOUNA {I personally loved the word}. 

Arya Mouna is the Silence of Speech, Body, and Mind. 

Vipassana is a 10-day Meditation program with the teachings of BUDDHA. They take you step by step into deep Meditative states by observation of your breath. In case you are wondering if it is PRANAYAMA; a big NO. It is not regulation of the breath. It is just simply watching your natural flow of breath, just watching your bare breath flowing in and out of your body; and no, it is not as simple as it sounds. (Try it now as you read, yes, try it, if you doubt that). And yes, there is No yoga asanas, no pranayama in the entire course.

There is a sea of content on Vipassana and its technique all around including on the internet. Still, the best bet is to do it under the guidance of a guru and in the ashram.

VIPASSANA – My Experience with my Truth

• Learning to see my own Internal reactions in response to the external occurrences.
• The world shows a different dimension, an all-new expression when the silence overpowers.
• Silence is beautiful.
• Meditate on the question and you will find your answer.
• Every inch of the world is alive and breathing and is breathing you and breathing me.
• Tasting meditation for the first time, I honestly yearn to go back to that space and connect with a deeper sense of my being.
• The Law of Nature is the Law of Impermanence. Changing, changing, changing.
• The human mind is a monkey mind and can be trained and taken full control of.
• If you are determined anything is possible
• Living the life of a monk through the course
• Equanimity is the key
• Meditate everyday
• Gratitude for everything

The poet in me wouldn’t allow me to continue writing, without this small piece.

When MEDITATION for me tasted like,

Pain and Pleasure

Passion and Power

Misery and Sorrow

Love and Lust

Peace and Joy

Sweet sleep and Sound sleep

Birth and Death.

REGISTRATION

The registration process commenced after arrival, followed by room allotment on a twin-sharing basis. Mobiles and valuables were all deposited. 

A small beautiful, clean room overlooking the horizon had tall pine and fern trees giving a feel of a hill station. The room had two small concrete beds, a bath, a toilet, and a wash basin. Mattress for the cots, mosquito nets, and small concrete cupboards for luggage.

After the evening Tea, we were allotted our Dhamma Hall seat numbers and taken to the hall. I was happy again that my seat was just next to the window as I could look at the sky, the trees, and the birds and get lost in a world of mine. The sky is my escape.

Now started the NOBLE SILENCE.

There was a discourse by the Acharyaji, SN Goenka.

The silence only sank in after reaching the room, NO READING, NO WRITING, NO PHONE, NO EYE CONTACT, NO TALKING, NO MEDIA. The only thing required for us to do was to MEDITATE. Luckily I and my roommate exchanged our names and places around the time of registration.  After that honestly, I haven’t looked at her directly living in the same room until day 10.

                                                              

  The SCHEDULE:

4:00 am-RISE

4:30-6:30 am- Dhyana

6:30-8:00 am- Breakfast and Bath

8:00-9:00 am- Group Meditation

9:00-11:00 am- Meditation

11:00 am-12:00 pm- Lunch

12:00-1:00 pm- Rest

1:00-2:00 pm- Meditation

2:00-3:00 pm- Group Meditation

3:00-5:00 pm - Meditation

5:00-6:00 pm- Tea break

6:00-7:00 pm- Group Meditation

7:00-9:00 pm – Discourse by Acharya ji

9:00-9:30 pm- Q & A session.

9:30pm – Off to bed, Lights off.

DAY 1

Day 1 started with AANA PANA meditation. We were asked to just watch our breath, the natural breath flowing in and out from the nostrils, and observe the sensations on the nose. It went on for the whole day, it got boring it got lazy the mind got distracted, and the mind wandered. And then you are still trying to meditate on the small triangle on your face, trying to observe the sensations.  It killed me as a Yoga teacher when it made me realize my concentration levels and an understanding that I have never done meditation. It was only concentration. It was only Dharana, nevertheless still good enough, so I thought.

An uncomfortable day it was, trying to sit all day with a wandering mind. Traveling into a world of mine, with my best people, I wandered,  it got easier with non-stop chatter in my head, and now and then coming back to aana pana. Little did I realize that I was training my mind the wrong way. 

The whole process was to break the Habit and train your mind, to be present in the NOW and not travel to the past or future.

DAY 2

An early bird I am, rising early never got tough, but waking up to sit for meditation for the next two hours was challenging. And I must have drifted away in a little sleep now and then but I am sure most of them or actually all of them worked their way through to get into deep meditative states every single time.  Continuing with Aana Pana meditation which traveled like boredom as we started feeling the sensations now. Slowly the area was reduced to a smaller size into a small triangle for observation. And a thought crept into my mind, am I just going to do this all 10 days. Phew! I needed some movement, 

I needed some Yoga, I needed to stretch, I needed to run. 

My body was tired and my joints screaming for a good yoga session. And apart from a little walk during rest hours, no form of stretch or movement was allowed. They said it will hinder the progress of meditation. (I agreed with that later maybe after the 6th day)

Still wandering and chatting and non-stop gazing at the sky, and trying to justify my aana pana meditation whenever I came back, and realized it was 30 minutes or more of this wandering in my head and I wasn’t aware. But I came back, I was now training my mind. You wander, you come back: you wander again, you come back: you will wander again and again and yet again. You train your mind and come back the moment you are aware.

The second day was over when my muscles and joints sank into the bed for a sound sleep.

DAY 3 

 Now the routine was slowly setting, and Aana Pana got stronger, with concentration levels getting better, the sensations stronger and uncomfortable at times. Every minute feels like an hour. The small 5-minute break in between sessions went into constant gazing at a leaf at its veins, at a flower dissecting the stamen, at the tree trunk, at the sky, listening to the birds chirping, as I continued talking in my mind to my significant half about all what I am experiencing. I had an imaginary person living along with me in my head. The human mind fears living in isolation, I thought. But it only made me happy and smile about this hallucination, when you actually don’t require that person in flesh and blood, but you still feel their presence. That’s how deep was the bond. Or was it Bondage!

I started enjoying the evening discourses and looked forward to it the entire day. As usual with no dinner nights, my stomach grumbled to sleep. Somewhere I had started liking the routine and the food habits.

DAY 4

Today we started VIPASSANA, observing sensations throughout the body. First thing, I was happy the area got bigger. .😁😁

For once I felt I am familiar with these sensations, as I have experienced this many times during my yoga practice, a current which flows throughout your body like lightning. This has happened many times post pranayama, post a quiet long self-practice, or when you feel in love. Oh yes! Now everyone knows what I am talking about. 😉

But, hold on; This is not a Game of Sensations, it is all about observing every other sensation, itching, throbbing, pulsating, be it pain, pleasure, passion, fear, fright, love, lust, sorrow, joy, peace, happiness, or any other you name it or can’t with EQUANIMITY. 

The first VIPASSANA was exhausting, I moved a hundred times, had poor concentration, and extreme lower body pain, I just waited impatiently for the session to get over. And when it was over, I cried...

I cried out of pain out of helplessness, out of anger, but my tears failed to flow.

 I choked and suppressed my feelings to howl and cry. Went to bed with a heavy heart and a noisy stomach. 

FOLLOWING DAYS:

Vipassana continued from then on refining every day a little more.  Getting better every day a little more. The mind still wandered, but now you start bringing it back quickly, and slowly quickly becomes immediately, and immediately becomes like you are observing both together now, that is your mind and the sensations and then you walk on the track straight, in full control of your mind. You are aware, you are aware of every sensation. Your work is to just observe and not react, and not wander with every sensation. Now that’s the challenge. 

DHAMMA HALL

That is Vipassana. SEEING THINGS AS THEY ARE. SEEING YOURSELF AS YOU ARE AT YOUR EXPERIENTIAL LEVEL, AT YOUR BREATH LEVEL.  This, my friend, will change something in you. You start believing that every sensation arises to pass. It’s not here to stay.  The nature of that sensation is ANICHYA meaning IMPERMANENCE. 

Before you know that, you have developed another sensation, and another, and yet another. And with every sensation, a thought arises, and along with those, the emotions. And then you wander and wander and a chain of thoughts and a never-ending process. And this is the chain of misery. Every pleasure sensation leads to misery, and every pain leads to misery. Basically, every sensation leads to misery. To cut short - THE CYCLE OF BIRTH AND DEATH.  

 

How do you break this? –  Break it with EQUANIMITY

And here BUDDHA enters. 

OBSERVE, JUST OBSERVE AND OBSERVE ALL SENSATIONS WITH EQUANIMITY. Equanimity in whatever sensation it could be. 

The Law of Nature is The Law of Impermanence

Nothing is PERMANENT. 

All the moment is NOW. 

Here I want to quote PATANJALI YOGA SUTRA and from THE BHAGAVAD GITA (CH 2- VERSE 48). SAMATVAM YOGA UCHYATE. -Equanimity is yoga. A Balanced state of mind and body.

All the Pleasant and Unpleasant sensations give rise to either craving or aversion. This keeps the mind agitated or in misery. So, watch the breath, watch the sensations. Soon we realize that the breath and sensations are closely related to mind and mental impurities. Reactions are like food for the mind. This interaction between mind and matter gives birth to SANKHARAS {CONDITIONINGS}. Every reaction will generate a new Sankhara. 

The approach should be to observe with equanimity every sensation. Every pain sensation can be due to an old sankharas. Be careful not to generate a new sankhara by reacting. Observe and allow it to come to the surface and dissolve.

QUOTE from the book SIDDHARTHA: Everything Beautiful, Everything Hostile, everything bad, everything good, everything is lost to time, when the time has overcome its existence by/in ones thought.

You can dissolve chunks of Sankharas as it comes to the surface when you just observe the sensations in a balanced and an equanimous mind without reacting, and with the knowledge of ANICHYA, that this is Impermanent, this is changing… this is changing and now it is Changing. A careful meditator will not allow new sankharas by reacting.  Just observe. You are the witness, that’s all. This is called Sakshi Bhava. Being a witness to all.

From the 4th day, a new discipline was to sit in every group meditation without moving, with spine straight. This is called ADHISHTTANA- DETERMINE TO SIT IN MEDITATION WITHOUT MOVING ANY PART OF YOUR BODY. 

While it got difficult with unbearable pain on the first day, I was determined to sit. And that’s what we first teach in Yoga. Being able to sit still. Training to sit still. 

I lost focus, I might have lost concentration too, but I won being able to sit still in Adhisttana.  But the concentration all came back slowly and then you enjoy that sweet pain. You wait for the pain so that you observe the nature of the pain. 

I beg to say here that, YOGA has allowed me to understand and appreciate the teachings, the approach, and the technique better.

On the 7th day, they allot you PAGODA CELLS,

PAGODA CELL

it’s a small cell of 3ft by 8ft with a tiny window for ventilation to meditate in ISOLATION. When I went there all the distractions rained back, I just sat there thinking of a prisoner’s life and the thoughts he/she goes through. It felt sick. I got claustrophobic, I was suffocating and just waited for the time to pass. I didn't even try meditating.  But on the 8th day, I dint want to miss out on a chance to meditate in isolation and my Vipassana was growing stronger and deeper, I could penetrate the deep pain by now. So, I tried this in the cell that day, and I just waited for the pain to grow stronger and dissected and disintegrated the pain and took full control of it. Not just pain, but every other emotion. But pain is always a stronger sensation. I came out calmer, more balanced. 

You realize, it is good to strive downwards, to sink to seek depth.

COUNTING DAYS

The world started looking different, it started to reveal itself a little more closely. You start observing your breath as you sleep, your body feels it when it rests on the bed, you start observing your steps as you walk, you start eating consciously, and you try not to waste a single morsel. 

The tall pine trees looked golden as the sun set in between its branches, it left a huge cloud with a silver lining leaving a sense of beauty in everything. 

RISING IS BEAUTIFUL, FALLING IS BEAUTIFUL. 

People around looked sad, Even in non-familiarity, they looked familiar. Some hopeless, some disturbed, agitated, some just normal, and some calm. I thought maybe the Sankharas are surfacing and leaving them in different ways. I was also angry, as I doubted the technique as no one looked happy.

  Self-Doubt is one of the biggest enemies of progress. I got my answers on the same evening in the discourse, and all my questions every day had their answers in the evening discourse by Acharyaji.  

 Patience is a great friend for learning. Learning to listen, learning to pay close attention with a quiet heart, with a waiting, with an opened soul, without passion, without a wish, without judgement, without an opinion.

GRATITUDE

Your gratitude for the comfortable stay, and for every meal, grows stronger. Your gratitude for every person back home, who is doing their bit to allow you to do this course grows stronger. Your own effort to make this course happen for yourself makes you humble. The emotions which drove you crazy start making peace. The Law of nature hits you differently. You learn to calm down, the days are slow and crawling, and you are counting days to get back home but now you wait patiently. And you no more miss your dear phone, you start liking this disconnection from the world. 

Solitude is beautiful. 

Now you only want to get more established in VIPASSANA, make good use of the time given to you, and understand the technique better. 

AS THE DAYS PROGRESSED, with every Vipassana, the nature within and the nature around start blending. Every tree has you. Every flower has you. So also, you are in every ray of that sun, you are the emotion you see on the moon every night. 

I am in you; you are in me……

And then the poetry in me craves to flow,

The fiery Red of that flower
The calm Green of that leaf
The Vibrant blue of the sky,
The peaceful White of the clouds
The shimmering gold from the firefly
The black beauty of the night sky, 
The dried brown of the branch raising one last time to the sky
The fallen tree bowing a final goodbye
All seeping in through your being
Reminding you of the elements you are soaked in
As you shudder from that vibrance of wisdom
Running like a lightening chill in your every silence
Fizzing off like Impermanence with a sigh!

THE TEACHINGS OF BUDDHA. 

Some basics which I could retain through many discourses. Most of them overlap with many 

Patanjali Yoga sutras.

• The Noble Eight-fold path is divided into the three basic pillars –

 SHILA, SAMADHI, PANYA/PRAGNYA – Morality, Meditation, Wisdom.

 SHILA/Moral conduct- Making the body and mind fit for concentration.

• Right Speech

• Right Action

• Right Livelihood

 SAMADHI/Meditation- Concentration of the mind to get a clear vision of the truth

• Right Effort

• Right Mindfulness

• Right Concentration

 PANYA/Wisdom.

• Right Understanding

• Right Thought

THE FIVE PRECEPTS

• Abstain from killing

• Abstain from stealing

• Abstain from sexual activity

• Abstain from telling lies

• Abstain from all Intoxicants

• The five Friends in your Journey

                    Awareness, Wisdom, Effort, Faith, Concentration.

• The five Enemies

                  Sensual desires, Aversion, Laziness, Anxiety, Doubt

THE KLESHAS

• Asmita (EGO)

• Raga (ATTACHMENT)

• Dvesha (AVERSION)

DAY 10

Although every day felt like day 10 would never come, the final day was already here. Even in silence, it felt like the noise was bustling all around. Everyone looked happy. Maybe the Sankharas again, or it was just the time to leave. And the teaching is to keep moving, you build RAGA (attachment) to any place or people or things and you are only stuck or stagnated. Keep moving, whether its during meditation or otherwise. ;)

NOBLE SILENCE ENDS

The silence ended, but the silence did not want to leave me. I had drowned in silence, and for my voice to surface and speak out took a while, but the Human mind is human mind! With non-stop chatter, all the Introversion was blown away by the very first sound, each one stood out as an Extrovert. By now we had received our phones and you can just imagine the fourth monkey with a smartphone, HAHAHA. Well! The mood was of happiness, of joy, of love, of uniting. Of Gratitude. BLISSED OUT. The session closed with a beautiful Maithri Meditation.

These 10 days allowed me to take my first small step towards a better living, and a better understanding and sowed a seed of meditation in me. It’s all now about practice. Practice makes you Progress. I hope VIPASSANA for all. 

This is my very first Blog as I was driven to write about my experiences. Hope you all enjoyed reading as much as I enjoyed writing this. There is so much more expression in me to write, but let me leave it for your own individual experiences at the ashram. Let the Dhamma pass on. Let the wheel of Dhamma rotate. BE HAPPY.

THANK YOU

Dr. Yashaswini B Raj.