VIPASSANA SUMMER 2022- DHAMMA PAPHULLA

 

There are 8 stages in the ASHTANGA YOGA. 

The 5 Bahiranga/External (YAMA, NIYAMA, ASANA, PRANAYAMA, PRATYAHARA) and the

 3 Antaranga/Internal Yoga (DHARANA, DHYANA, SAMADHI).

As a Yoga teacher, I tend to correlate every teaching first with YOGA. Therefore, I call VIPASSANA Knocking at the door of DHARANA (Concentration) to open the doors of DHYANA (Meditation). 

To be precise working straight on the ANTARANGA YOGA. 

Vipassana, Vi- Special; Passana- seeing. A SPECIAL SEEING.

To see things as they really are. An Insight into your own being. 

An Intense Meditation process starts with Noble Silence. ARYA MOUNA {I personally loved the word}. 

Arya Mouna is the Silence of Speech, Body, and Mind. 

Vipassana is a 10-day Meditation program with the teachings of BUDDHA. They take you step by step into deep Meditative states by observation of your breath. In case you are wondering if it is PRANAYAMA; a big NO. It is not regulation of the breath. It is just simply watching your natural flow of breath, just watching your bare breath flowing in and out of your body; and no, it is not as simple as it sounds. (Try it now as you read, yes, try it, if you doubt that). And yes, there is No yoga asanas, no pranayama in the entire course.

There is a sea of content on Vipassana and its technique all around including on the internet. Still, the best bet is to do it under the guidance of a guru and in the ashram.

VIPASSANA – My Experience with my Truth

• Learning to see my own Internal reactions in response to the external occurrences.
• The world shows a different dimension, an all-new expression when the silence overpowers.
• Silence is beautiful.
• Meditate on the question and you will find your answer.
• Every inch of the world is alive and breathing and is breathing you and breathing me.
• Tasting meditation for the first time, I honestly yearn to go back to that space and connect with a deeper sense of my being.
• The Law of Nature is the Law of Impermanence. Changing, changing, changing.
• The human mind is a monkey mind and can be trained and taken full control of.
• If you are determined anything is possible
• Living the life of a monk through the course
• Equanimity is the key
• Meditate everyday
• Gratitude for everything

The poet in me wouldn’t allow me to continue writing, without this small piece.

When MEDITATION for me tasted like,

Pain and Pleasure

Passion and Power

Misery and Sorrow

Love and Lust

Peace and Joy

Sweet sleep and Sound sleep

Birth and Death.

REGISTRATION

The registration process commenced after arrival, followed by room allotment on a twin-sharing basis. Mobiles and valuables were all deposited. 

A small beautiful, clean room overlooking the horizon had tall pine and fern trees giving a feel of a hill station. The room had two small concrete beds, a bath, a toilet, and a wash basin. Mattress for the cots, mosquito nets, and small concrete cupboards for luggage.

After the evening Tea, we were allotted our Dhamma Hall seat numbers and taken to the hall. I was happy again that my seat was just next to the window as I could look at the sky, the trees, and the birds and get lost in a world of mine. The sky is my escape.

Now started the NOBLE SILENCE.

There was a discourse by the Acharyaji, SN Goenka.

The silence only sank in after reaching the room, NO READING, NO WRITING, NO PHONE, NO EYE CONTACT, NO TALKING, NO MEDIA. The only thing required for us to do was to MEDITATE. Luckily I and my roommate exchanged our names and places around the time of registration.  After that honestly, I haven’t looked at her directly living in the same room until day 10.

                                                              

  The SCHEDULE:

4:00 am-RISE

4:30-6:30 am- Dhyana

6:30-8:00 am- Breakfast and Bath

8:00-9:00 am- Group Meditation

9:00-11:00 am- Meditation

11:00 am-12:00 pm- Lunch

12:00-1:00 pm- Rest

1:00-2:00 pm- Meditation

2:00-3:00 pm- Group Meditation

3:00-5:00 pm - Meditation

5:00-6:00 pm- Tea break

6:00-7:00 pm- Group Meditation

7:00-9:00 pm – Discourse by Acharya ji

9:00-9:30 pm- Q & A session.

9:30pm – Off to bed, Lights off.

DAY 1

Day 1 started with AANA PANA meditation. We were asked to just watch our breath, the natural breath flowing in and out from the nostrils, and observe the sensations on the nose. It went on for the whole day, it got boring it got lazy the mind got distracted, and the mind wandered. And then you are still trying to meditate on the small triangle on your face, trying to observe the sensations.  It killed me as a Yoga teacher when it made me realize my concentration levels and an understanding that I have never done meditation. It was only concentration. It was only Dharana, nevertheless still good enough, so I thought.

An uncomfortable day it was, trying to sit all day with a wandering mind. Traveling into a world of mine, with my best people, I wandered,  it got easier with non-stop chatter in my head, and now and then coming back to aana pana. Little did I realize that I was training my mind the wrong way. 

The whole process was to break the Habit and train your mind, to be present in the NOW and not travel to the past or future.

DAY 2

An early bird I am, rising early never got tough, but waking up to sit for meditation for the next two hours was challenging. And I must have drifted away in a little sleep now and then but I am sure most of them or actually all of them worked their way through to get into deep meditative states every single time.  Continuing with Aana Pana meditation which traveled like boredom as we started feeling the sensations now. Slowly the area was reduced to a smaller size into a small triangle for observation. And a thought crept into my mind, am I just going to do this all 10 days. Phew! I needed some movement, 

I needed some Yoga, I needed to stretch, I needed to run. 

My body was tired and my joints screaming for a good yoga session. And apart from a little walk during rest hours, no form of stretch or movement was allowed. They said it will hinder the progress of meditation. (I agreed with that later maybe after the 6th day)

Still wandering and chatting and non-stop gazing at the sky, and trying to justify my aana pana meditation whenever I came back, and realized it was 30 minutes or more of this wandering in my head and I wasn’t aware. But I came back, I was now training my mind. You wander, you come back: you wander again, you come back: you will wander again and again and yet again. You train your mind and come back the moment you are aware.

The second day was over when my muscles and joints sank into the bed for a sound sleep.

DAY 3 

 Now the routine was slowly setting, and Aana Pana got stronger, with concentration levels getting better, the sensations stronger and uncomfortable at times. Every minute feels like an hour. The small 5-minute break in between sessions went into constant gazing at a leaf at its veins, at a flower dissecting the stamen, at the tree trunk, at the sky, listening to the birds chirping, as I continued talking in my mind to my significant half about all what I am experiencing. I had an imaginary person living along with me in my head. The human mind fears living in isolation, I thought. But it only made me happy and smile about this hallucination, when you actually don’t require that person in flesh and blood, but you still feel their presence. That’s how deep was the bond. Or was it Bondage!

I started enjoying the evening discourses and looked forward to it the entire day. As usual with no dinner nights, my stomach grumbled to sleep. Somewhere I had started liking the routine and the food habits.

DAY 4

Today we started VIPASSANA, observing sensations throughout the body. First thing, I was happy the area got bigger. .😁😁

For once I felt I am familiar with these sensations, as I have experienced this many times during my yoga practice, a current which flows throughout your body like lightning. This has happened many times post pranayama, post a quiet long self-practice, or when you feel in love. Oh yes! Now everyone knows what I am talking about. 😉

But, hold on; This is not a Game of Sensations, it is all about observing every other sensation, itching, throbbing, pulsating, be it pain, pleasure, passion, fear, fright, love, lust, sorrow, joy, peace, happiness, or any other you name it or can’t with EQUANIMITY. 

The first VIPASSANA was exhausting, I moved a hundred times, had poor concentration, and extreme lower body pain, I just waited impatiently for the session to get over. And when it was over, I cried...

I cried out of pain out of helplessness, out of anger, but my tears failed to flow.

 I choked and suppressed my feelings to howl and cry. Went to bed with a heavy heart and a noisy stomach. 

FOLLOWING DAYS:

Vipassana continued from then on refining every day a little more.  Getting better every day a little more. The mind still wandered, but now you start bringing it back quickly, and slowly quickly becomes immediately, and immediately becomes like you are observing both together now, that is your mind and the sensations and then you walk on the track straight, in full control of your mind. You are aware, you are aware of every sensation. Your work is to just observe and not react, and not wander with every sensation. Now that’s the challenge. 

DHAMMA HALL

That is Vipassana. SEEING THINGS AS THEY ARE. SEEING YOURSELF AS YOU ARE AT YOUR EXPERIENTIAL LEVEL, AT YOUR BREATH LEVEL.  This, my friend, will change something in you. You start believing that every sensation arises to pass. It’s not here to stay.  The nature of that sensation is ANICHYA meaning IMPERMANENCE. 

Before you know that, you have developed another sensation, and another, and yet another. And with every sensation, a thought arises, and along with those, the emotions. And then you wander and wander and a chain of thoughts and a never-ending process. And this is the chain of misery. Every pleasure sensation leads to misery, and every pain leads to misery. Basically, every sensation leads to misery. To cut short - THE CYCLE OF BIRTH AND DEATH.  

 

How do you break this? –  Break it with EQUANIMITY

And here BUDDHA enters. 

OBSERVE, JUST OBSERVE AND OBSERVE ALL SENSATIONS WITH EQUANIMITY. Equanimity in whatever sensation it could be. 

The Law of Nature is The Law of Impermanence

Nothing is PERMANENT. 

All the moment is NOW. 

Here I want to quote PATANJALI YOGA SUTRA and from THE BHAGAVAD GITA (CH 2- VERSE 48). SAMATVAM YOGA UCHYATE. -Equanimity is yoga. A Balanced state of mind and body.

All the Pleasant and Unpleasant sensations give rise to either craving or aversion. This keeps the mind agitated or in misery. So, watch the breath, watch the sensations. Soon we realize that the breath and sensations are closely related to mind and mental impurities. Reactions are like food for the mind. This interaction between mind and matter gives birth to SANKHARAS {CONDITIONINGS}. Every reaction will generate a new Sankhara. 

The approach should be to observe with equanimity every sensation. Every pain sensation can be due to an old sankharas. Be careful not to generate a new sankhara by reacting. Observe and allow it to come to the surface and dissolve.

QUOTE from the book SIDDHARTHA: Everything Beautiful, Everything Hostile, everything bad, everything good, everything is lost to time, when the time has overcome its existence by/in ones thought.

You can dissolve chunks of Sankharas as it comes to the surface when you just observe the sensations in a balanced and an equanimous mind without reacting, and with the knowledge of ANICHYA, that this is Impermanent, this is changing… this is changing and now it is Changing. A careful meditator will not allow new sankharas by reacting.  Just observe. You are the witness, that’s all. This is called Sakshi Bhava. Being a witness to all.

From the 4th day, a new discipline was to sit in every group meditation without moving, with spine straight. This is called ADHISHTTANA- DETERMINE TO SIT IN MEDITATION WITHOUT MOVING ANY PART OF YOUR BODY. 

While it got difficult with unbearable pain on the first day, I was determined to sit. And that’s what we first teach in Yoga. Being able to sit still. Training to sit still. 

I lost focus, I might have lost concentration too, but I won being able to sit still in Adhisttana.  But the concentration all came back slowly and then you enjoy that sweet pain. You wait for the pain so that you observe the nature of the pain. 

I beg to say here that, YOGA has allowed me to understand and appreciate the teachings, the approach, and the technique better.

On the 7th day, they allot you PAGODA CELLS,

PAGODA CELL

it’s a small cell of 3ft by 8ft with a tiny window for ventilation to meditate in ISOLATION. When I went there all the distractions rained back, I just sat there thinking of a prisoner’s life and the thoughts he/she goes through. It felt sick. I got claustrophobic, I was suffocating and just waited for the time to pass. I didn't even try meditating.  But on the 8th day, I dint want to miss out on a chance to meditate in isolation and my Vipassana was growing stronger and deeper, I could penetrate the deep pain by now. So, I tried this in the cell that day, and I just waited for the pain to grow stronger and dissected and disintegrated the pain and took full control of it. Not just pain, but every other emotion. But pain is always a stronger sensation. I came out calmer, more balanced. 

You realize, it is good to strive downwards, to sink to seek depth.

COUNTING DAYS

The world started looking different, it started to reveal itself a little more closely. You start observing your breath as you sleep, your body feels it when it rests on the bed, you start observing your steps as you walk, you start eating consciously, and you try not to waste a single morsel. 

The tall pine trees looked golden as the sun set in between its branches, it left a huge cloud with a silver lining leaving a sense of beauty in everything. 

RISING IS BEAUTIFUL, FALLING IS BEAUTIFUL. 

People around looked sad, Even in non-familiarity, they looked familiar. Some hopeless, some disturbed, agitated, some just normal, and some calm. I thought maybe the Sankharas are surfacing and leaving them in different ways. I was also angry, as I doubted the technique as no one looked happy.

  Self-Doubt is one of the biggest enemies of progress. I got my answers on the same evening in the discourse, and all my questions every day had their answers in the evening discourse by Acharyaji.  

 Patience is a great friend for learning. Learning to listen, learning to pay close attention with a quiet heart, with a waiting, with an opened soul, without passion, without a wish, without judgement, without an opinion.

GRATITUDE

Your gratitude for the comfortable stay, and for every meal, grows stronger. Your gratitude for every person back home, who is doing their bit to allow you to do this course grows stronger. Your own effort to make this course happen for yourself makes you humble. The emotions which drove you crazy start making peace. The Law of nature hits you differently. You learn to calm down, the days are slow and crawling, and you are counting days to get back home but now you wait patiently. And you no more miss your dear phone, you start liking this disconnection from the world. 

Solitude is beautiful. 

Now you only want to get more established in VIPASSANA, make good use of the time given to you, and understand the technique better. 

AS THE DAYS PROGRESSED, with every Vipassana, the nature within and the nature around start blending. Every tree has you. Every flower has you. So also, you are in every ray of that sun, you are the emotion you see on the moon every night. 

I am in you; you are in me……

And then the poetry in me craves to flow,

The fiery Red of that flower
The calm Green of that leaf
The Vibrant blue of the sky,
The peaceful White of the clouds
The shimmering gold from the firefly
The black beauty of the night sky, 
The dried brown of the branch raising one last time to the sky
The fallen tree bowing a final goodbye
All seeping in through your being
Reminding you of the elements you are soaked in
As you shudder from that vibrance of wisdom
Running like a lightening chill in your every silence
Fizzing off like Impermanence with a sigh!

THE TEACHINGS OF BUDDHA. 

Some basics which I could retain through many discourses. Most of them overlap with many 

Patanjali Yoga sutras.

• The Noble Eight-fold path is divided into the three basic pillars –

 SHILA, SAMADHI, PANYA/PRAGNYA – Morality, Meditation, Wisdom.

 SHILA/Moral conduct- Making the body and mind fit for concentration.

• Right Speech

• Right Action

• Right Livelihood

 SAMADHI/Meditation- Concentration of the mind to get a clear vision of the truth

• Right Effort

• Right Mindfulness

• Right Concentration

 PANYA/Wisdom.

• Right Understanding

• Right Thought

THE FIVE PRECEPTS

• Abstain from killing

• Abstain from stealing

• Abstain from sexual activity

• Abstain from telling lies

• Abstain from all Intoxicants

• The five Friends in your Journey

                    Awareness, Wisdom, Effort, Faith, Concentration.

• The five Enemies

                  Sensual desires, Aversion, Laziness, Anxiety, Doubt

THE KLESHAS

• Asmita (EGO)

• Raga (ATTACHMENT)

• Dvesha (AVERSION)

DAY 10

Although every day felt like day 10 would never come, the final day was already here. Even in silence, it felt like the noise was bustling all around. Everyone looked happy. Maybe the Sankharas again, or it was just the time to leave. And the teaching is to keep moving, you build RAGA (attachment) to any place or people or things and you are only stuck or stagnated. Keep moving, whether its during meditation or otherwise. ;)

NOBLE SILENCE ENDS

The silence ended, but the silence did not want to leave me. I had drowned in silence, and for my voice to surface and speak out took a while, but the Human mind is human mind! With non-stop chatter, all the Introversion was blown away by the very first sound, each one stood out as an Extrovert. By now we had received our phones and you can just imagine the fourth monkey with a smartphone, HAHAHA. Well! The mood was of happiness, of joy, of love, of uniting. Of Gratitude. BLISSED OUT. The session closed with a beautiful Maithri Meditation.

These 10 days allowed me to take my first small step towards a better living, and a better understanding and sowed a seed of meditation in me. It’s all now about practice. Practice makes you Progress. I hope VIPASSANA for all. 

This is my very first Blog as I was driven to write about my experiences. Hope you all enjoyed reading as much as I enjoyed writing this. There is so much more expression in me to write, but let me leave it for your own individual experiences at the ashram. Let the Dhamma pass on. Let the wheel of Dhamma rotate. BE HAPPY.

THANK YOU

Dr. Yashaswini B Raj.